What's clean got to do with it?

Like most kids, one of my chores growing up was to clean up my room. But unlike most kids, I didn't outgrow my messiness. At 26 years old, with my own place and multiple rooms to keep tidy, I've found that the level of cleanliness of my apartment is dependent on who is around.

Just me mess: where's the floor? ohh underneath those piles of clothes and books. (living room, kitchen and bedroom look like a frat boy's dorm room)
Friend visiting who is also messy: clutter in living room and kitchen pushed into piles to make room for walking and sitting. Bedroom door is cracked open.
Friend visiting who is not messy: clutter pushed into piles against the wall, in the closet, actual wiping of surfaces may occur. Bedroom door is closed.
Stranger visiting: surfaces wiped, dishes put away, mostly de-cluttered. Bedroom door is bolted shut with caution tape across it.
Parents visiting: full blown clean with floors actually vacuumed, all surfaces wiped twice, no clutter visible and all doors open.

And how long does full blown clean last? 10 minutes after parents leave.

Remember cleanliness may be next to godliness but messiness does not equal dirtiness!
(and never underestimate the benefit of advance notice when paying me a visit)